Tuesday, 1 November 2011

I can't believe it's November

Hello guys,

Where has this year gone? Is it only me who thinks it has flown by so quickly I've not had chance to catch my breath? Strangely enough, now that November is here, I feel as though I can breathe for a while and prepare for the hectic holiday that is Christmas! I've just started a new day job; tutoring adults instead of children, for a change, and although I've only been there for two days I'm loving it. I've never liked a new job before - it's always taken me a while to settle in, but I've enjoyed my past two days very much and I have my fingers crossed it will continue.  As long as it does, I will be able to start writing a new book, hopefully. I am aiming to publish "Callie's World"extracts into a free book and then start working on a new chick lit romance.

I am also going to try and continue with Callie's World; however I may have to cut it down to two updates a week instead of three. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, I was conscious that I'd been spending a little too much time updating Callie and neglecting this blog.

I hope everyone enjoyed Halloween as much as I did. People made such an effort with the decorations this year, and some houses had sound effects and everything - it was great!

Anyway, I am going to end here and I look forward to writing my next post on a special subject, a bit like the killer shoes or horrible bosses post.

Bye for now and thanks for reading,

Anna x

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Callie's World

Hi guys

I've just been told that sometimes when you click on the "Callie's World" tab it isn't automatically redirecting to the link page I created. I don't know whether it's because it is a new template blogger has just designed.
Anyway if you want to read Callie's world and it isn't redirecting you just type in www.chicklitsoap.blogspot.com and you will be taken to my other blog where I write Callie's World updates.

Bye for now


Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Killer Clothes

Hi Ladies,

I was thinking, the other day, after almost twisting my ankle whilst wearing my wedge-heeled shoes, that some of the things us girlies wear are downright dangerous! Here is my list of killer clothes items and why they are dangerous.

1) Slippers
The name says it all. The worst offenders are the ones with no ankles in them, you know, the ones with fluffy tufts around the toes and nothing around the heel area. These offenders like to slip off your foot at the worst times, such as when you are on your way downstairs with a pile of ironing. They also like to try and maim you when you are walking on laminate flooring carrying a hot mug of tea. The next in line are the huge, but comfy, novelty ones which are shaped like Homer Simpson's face or big fluffy bunnies. They may look sweet and innocent, but beware, they too will try to throw you off balance if you're not careful. They're so squishy they enjoy crumpling up and throwing you forward as they crumple up underneath your feet, usually when you're on your way downstairs.

2) Killer Shoes
There are various types of these around, and as the average woman has 36 pairs of shoes in her wardrobe, then most women will own at least one pair of these murderous items.  Here is a list of the most violent offenders: wedges, stilettos, kitten heels, platforms and wooden shoes with leather straps (I won't mention the trade name for these, but you'll know what I'm referring to if you own a pair -whoever designed these must have been some form of torturer in a past life). Each of these pairs has a different MO (as they say in the police force).  Wedges and platforms like to suddenly twist your ankle to the side, attempting to break it, usually when you are stepping down from the pavement, ready to cross the road. Kitten heels, like slippers, tend to slip off your foot sometimes, and they also like to wedge themselves in small cracks and grids, hoping you will pull a muscle or tear a ligament as you attempt to free yourself.  Wooden shoes with leather toe straps like to suddenly twist to the side so that your tender foot scrapes itself on the sharp wooden edges.  If you're lucky you'll end up with a few splinters - worst-case scenario - tumbling down the stairs, legs akimbo and shoes flailing after you.

3) Knickers
How can an innocent pair of knickers (or panties, for those of you in the USA) be dangerous, you may wonder. Well, if it happens to me then I'm sure it happens to you too.  Sometimes they tend to lodge themselves in awkward places, and they like to remove themselves from your cheeks, preferring to move around into very uncomfortable places, shall we say.  This tends to happen at the worst moments, like when you are driving.  I can't tell you how many times I've swerved my car whilst attempting to dislodge an uncomfortable knicker/panty situation. And as for thongs, don't get me started on those things - why would somebody choose to wear something that feels just like an uncomfortable knicker situation?

4) Bras
I wouldn't say these were the worst offenders.  If they were a criminal (or felon if you are in the USA, right?) then they would be a first offender or ABH rather than outright murder.  Their preferred form of attack is when their under wiring becomes loose and digs into your ribs, attempting to puncture your lungs (I know I'm exaggerating a little here, but when it happens it really does hurt - especially if you are in public and have to put up with it digging in for a long time!) They also like to twist their catches, so they dig in your back.  Sometimes their straps like to dig into your shoulders too, causing sore and red areas.

5) Jeggings
It isn't surprising these modern items are going out of fashion already.  They look great, don't they? It's like wearing tight jeans without the hassle of dieting to fit in them, right? Wrong! Jeggings like to give you a sense of false security - they hold everything in, and you look great as you step out of the house. Five hours later and you are in pain from the pinching in your belly, as the unforgiving waistband digs in.  Don't let the elasticity fool you - there's no give in those things!  After you've had a few meals and some drinks, these items are so unforgiving.  Their waistbands enjoy pinching you and you can't even undo your zip or buttons to ease the tension. It's such a relief when you take them off and realize you can breath again.

6) Short, flared skirts (skater skirts)
These offenders like to kill you by making you die of embarrassment.  There are two main ways they can do this a) They can blow up, showing all the world your knicker situation at the most inappropriate times (although any time they do this is inappropriate, right?).  It doesn't even have to be a windy day; they still manage to find a way to do this and b) They like to stick into your tights or knickers, so the world gets to see your bum cheeks as you walk down the street. They have a strange way of doing this without you feeling a draft, so you don't notice until some brave person comes up to tell you about it.

So there you have it.  If you have any others you would like to add to the list just put them in the comments box. If you are a man reading this, then I hope you can sympathize with us poor girlies who have to suffer in the name of fashion.

I hope you found this amusing.

Bye for now

Anna x

Monday, 8 August 2011

Why are men so obsessed with young women?

Hi all,

I read a newspaper article recently; it was discussing a blog written by a woman calling herself "Plankton". She uses this name because she believes she is at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to men. Having suddenly found herself single in her forties, she has noticed that single men her age either want women their own age or much younger women. She feels ignored and lonely. I felt so sorry for this woman, but it also got me thinking; if men on internet dating sites are asking for women under 40, they are potentially cutting themselves off from some great dates. For instance, if you are a man reading this, who would you rather date, Elle Macpherson - a model in her forties who, most people would agree, still looks great for her age, or a young twenty-something with three children by three different fathers who has a cigarette in one side of her mouth and a pork pie stuffed into the other half.  She swears, drinks a lot and wears tight leggings which highlight her podgy thighs and allow her muffin-top (that's belly flab in case you haven't heard the term) to spill over her waistband. You can get a great view of it swishing around, because she also likes to wear cropped vest tops, which also reveal her tattoos. So men, would you rather have the twenty year old or the woman in her forties now, eh?

There are going to be some older women who take care of themselves and look great and, even if you think the description of the twenty year old I've described above is over the top, believe me, I've seen plenty of young women in my local shopping mall who fit this description perfectly.

I hope that those men who advertise for young women get one of the women I see in my local mall - it will serve them right for being so picky!

Remember, age is only a label; it has no bearing on the individual woman - you are as old as you feel!

I hope this blog post has got you all thinking!

Bye for now,

Anna x

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Horrible Bosses - Is there any need?

Hi guys,

I saw a clip from the new movie, "Horrible Bosses" and it made me remember some of the horrible bosses I've had the misfortune to work for. And, let me tell you, there were so many I could write more than one book about them. I'd like to discuss today possible reasons why bosses are horrible. I believe there are four main reasons. Please feel free to add more in the comments box though, if you think I've missed something important. My reasons are as follows:

a) They are just plain psychotic. (I remember reading a newspaper article about this a couple of years ago; it said most bosses were psychopaths. Could this be a case of strange, but true?)

b) They are jealous. (They might not appreciate you coming in each morning with a huge grin plastered on your face, blabbing on about your gorgeous hubby and angelic children, when they've spent the morning yelling at their husband and trying to drag their teenage son out of bed.) The green-eyed monster is not a nice thing (and neither is the blue-eyed or brown-eyed monster, who happens to be your boss).

c)They hate their job. (I have come across this a lot. I think most of my horrible bosses fall into this category. The truth is, they hate their job so much but, because they've got bills to pay, and there aren't many other jobs around, they are forced to stay and shout at you all day; making your life a misery gives them something to look forward to.)

d) They are scared. (That's right, the evil presence in your workplace is actually scared of you. They're scared you're better than them, and that if they don't put you in your place and tell you how inadequate you are, that you'll steal their job from them.)

And there you have it. I just want to say that if you are a boss and you're not horrible then I hope you haven't been offended by this blog post.  If you are a boss and you are horrible, then I'm sure you have other more evil things to worry about. If you are your own boss then please be nice to yourself.

If you have enjoyed reading this then why not follow @horrible bosses on Twitter.

Until next time,

Anna x

Monday, 4 July 2011

Are you still his love-goddess?

Hi guys,

Today, I want to talk about relationships (nothing new there then, lol!) and why us girls stay with men who've stopped treating us the way we deserve to be treated.

I mean, the guy must have liked you at some point, otherwise he wouldn't be your boyfriend in the first place, but why are you still with him when he is treating you like an old piece of chewing gum that's lost its flavour? Below are some signs that you are no longer his love-goddess. If you spot any I suggest making a quick getaway before you end up like an old-worn out shoe that he gave his dog to chew.

Signs you are no longer his love-goddess.

1) He doesn't answer your texts, your emails, your facebook messages, your phonecalls and you see him cowering in his living room when you knock on his door. Take the hint, girlfriend - he is scared stiff of you and would rather hide behind his settee for an hour, with a cramped back and a painfully full bladder than let you into his house. Your current status in his eyes = stalker. Your real status = too bloody good for him, that's what!

2) When you start moving closer for a cuddle he jumps up out of the chair as though you've just set him on fire, and tells you he just remembered he needs to get the mince out of the freezer (or some other similar weird excuse). Your current status in his eyes = frumpy (I'm sorry, but it's true. You may be wearing your sexiest underwear and everything, but he doesn't want to undress you to see it! He sees you as something comfortable and familiar. Quick exit time. Find someone who appreciates you while everything is still firm and wrinkle-free. Your real status = too bloody good for him that's what!

3) You're out together, but he keeps checking his mobile phone facebook page, is constantly sending texts to his mates (or other girlfriends - he won't let you look at his phone, so who knows?) and when he isn't doing this he's eyeing up other women. I know this sounds obvious that he isn't interested, but it's surprising how many women put up with this nowadays. Your current status in his eyes = boring (well,that's what he thinks otherwise he would be having an interesting conversation with you, or putting his tongue down your throat.) Your real status = too bloody good for him, that's what!

4) He arranges to meet you for a date and then phones beforehand to tell you he can't make it because he's either a) seeing his mate because his girlfriend's dumped him and he's upset, b) he has to work overtime (sometimes this may be genuine, check the other signs to make sure) or c) he's tired (he couldn't even be bothered to come up with an excuse here, so quick exit needed.) Your current status in his eyes = burden. Let's be honest with ourselves here - he doesn't want to see you - he's putting other people first. Your real status = too bloody good for him, that's what!

I hope you have got the message girlies - you are too bloody good for him! Make a quick exit and find someone else while everything's still in good shape!